Friday, May 25, 2012

Write On Edge: Setting

This weeks Write on Edge prompt was a bit tricky. The goal is to use setting to help develop the story. In only 250 words. I cringed a little. Especially after reading the one post and example that was amazing. I am going to try though because there is a scene in my current WIP that might work for the prompt. Here goes nothing!

Since lights out hadn't been called, trainees lingered in the hallways. They clustered in small groups or sat on beds in the rooms. Their voices filled the air like a chorus, punctuated by laughter. The noise receded around me as I walked down the hallway and people stepped out of my way. After I passed, the noise started back up as if uninterrupted. I pretended they were just being polite, but the looks on their faces told the truth.

I reached my dorm room and slumped against the door, staring at the sparse belongings. A neatly made bed, wrinkle-free clothing in the closet, and a bare desk. A small white board hung on the wall over the desk. My training schedule was printed and the only other thing on the board was a small newspaper clipping taped to it. The clipping had an image of a woman, happiness sparkling in her eyes. Behind me, the noise in the hallway beat at the door, teasing me with promises it had no intention of filling. I moved away from the door and leaned on the desk. Silence crept around my feet and filling every inch of the room like a poison. I looked at the woman in the clipping, struggling as the silence crawled up my body to choke me.

"I'm trying Mom."

So, how did I do? Also, don't forget to check out the others' take on the prompt.

8 comments:

  1. Oh, I really liked "Silence crept around my feet"--that's a great image, though be careful of the conjugation of what follows; it changes tenses. Lots of intriguing questions raised.

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    1. I'll have to remember to fix that later. Thanks. =)

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  2. Very interesting. Is it part of a longer story?

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    1. Yeah. It's part of a WIP I just finished today. ^^

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  3. It just breaks my heart. I would read more of it.

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  4. @William, thanks.

    @Cathy, might do something with the story eventually. Dunno yet. Just finished the first draft and that needs to sit and brew.

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  5. Interesting. I'd like to see someting more of the rest of this story as well. The one suggestion I have is to break up "My training schedule was printed and the only other thing on the board was a small newspaper clipping taped to it." into two sentences - "My training schedule was printed. The only other thing on the board was a small newspaper clipping." Takes out 4 words, reads smoother to me and leaves you a tiny bit more room to use the word count where it will have even more of an impact. Keep up the great work!!

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